Even if you’re not a Swiftie, there’s a good chance that 90 percent of your social media and Discover feeds have been all about Taylor Swift’s first podcast appearance—and upcoming album announcement—on New Heights (aka boyfriend Travis Kelce’s and his brother, Jason Kelce’s, interview series). So, as overanalyzed and oversaturated as it’s been, I’m still here, typing out these words and dumping them onto the internet because they’re worth repeating.

Repeatedly.

Over the course of the two-hour-long interview, Swift discussed everything from buying her masters to her love of sourdough (epic food puns included), and while I’m very much here for the singer revealing all the “granny sh*t” she’s into, as she put it, I found myself pausing and playing back her advice on dealing with criticism—especially the sort dished out online.

Before you absorb any criticism, it’s worth considering the source—and how much weight you should give those words.

Take it from Taylor: “I’m a real criticism guy. Like, give me constructive criticism all day. I’ll take it. It’ll fuel me. It’s helpful,” she says around the one-hour-and-21-minute mark. “But so many like, friends or acquaintances or people were like, they’ll see one comment they don’t like, and it will ruin their day. It’ll ruin their night. And I just want to say to them: You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it. Not everyone has invested in you in order to be able to have the capital for you to care about this. Because what you spend your energy on, that’s the day.”

I have been (and at times, still struggle with being) that friend she describes. Especially during the Facebook Live era, when people’s comments on my videos at work would make or break my evening. They were total strangers, and yet, I gave them my attention, then I started overthinking—and spiraling, as it kept looping in my mind.

“You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it.”

Swift expands on how that negativity spiral takes hold of a person: “It doesn’t matter where you were. Like maybe you went to go get coffee today. Maybe you saw friends today. If you were obsessing over one thing that you saw, like you literally like saw some guy call you ‘mid’ and [now you] can’t stop thinking about it. Dude, that’s the day then. That’s the night then.”

You’re trading minutes, hours or even days of your life, feeling miserable, over the thoughts of a person who ultimately doesn’t matter to you. (Though it’s even worse if they do matter, and their words are just hurtful, not helpful.)

It’s a great reminder, but…how do you keep from letting others’ criticism get to you?

First, there’s the important distinction: Has this person earned your energy? As in, are they someone whose opinion you value and trust? Then it might be worth asking for clarification, so you can understand their intentions, clinical psychologist Ellen Hendrickson, PhD, told Wondermind. (The article suggests asking “What makes you say that?” or “Can you tell me a little more about why you see it that way?”)

Put Their Words into the Right Perspective

If they’re not worth your energy though? Remind yourself of that. Put it in that perspective—they don’t know the real you—but Hendrickson also recommends helping distance yourself with a little cognitive defusion. She suggests picturing the criticism as words on a screen, or try singing them out loud, or type them on a screen, changing the font and color to be off the wall.

Do Whatever You Need to Let Go of What’s Bringing You Down

To that end, I’ve tried exercises where I’ve written down the hurtful words, reminded myself that this person hasn’t earned my energy, and torn up or burned the paper—a physical act to help me mentally “release” and step away from it.

I once took my sister to the beach late at night, where we picked up rocks and shells, said aloud words that’d hurt us, and hurled them into the ocean as far as we could. It was strangely cathartic, and years later, I can’t really remember anything that I shouted out that night. Just that it felt like freedom.

Finally, Filter Out the Noise

As a preemptive measure, it can be helpful to limit your exposure to opinions that don’t really matter. Which may mean deciding not to read the comments, or refusing to read unsolicited DMs.

“I’ve been able to sort of mediate a really healthy relationship with not seeing a whole lot,” Swift says in the podcast, noting that she’s had her Instagram comments turned off for years, and she has someone else review her DMs.

At the end of the day, those opinions that haven’t earned her energy? Well, they’re none of her (or our) business. “My business is making music and taking care of my fans, and I have ways of monitoring what they want from me and how best to entertain them,” she explains. “Everything else I’m just sort of like, ‘it’s not my business; I have an actual business that I need to run.”

It’s a reminder we could all benefit from, even if we’re not breaking records or selling out stadiums worldwide.