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The coronavirus has upended our lives, and with so many people struggling—with COVID itself, and/or job losses, mounting debt, loneliness, and so on—it’s easy to feel in a constant state of worry. (In fact, in some ways, we’re living in an age of “Everyday Scaries,” as opposed to the Sunday Scaries, where people feel a surge of anxiety on Sundays.)
But still, there are bright spots, and I’m not just talking about John Krasinski’s Some Good News YouTube series, though that is a great one. In those moments—or maybe, based on your situation, for extended periods of time—you’re feeling pretty happy. Grateful. Blessed. When those feelings arise, and you think about everyone else in pain, it’s easy to feel a wave of guilt, and before you even realize it, you’re fighting to suppress your own happiness, because it somehow seems wrong. Well, it isn’t. Finding ways to be happy can sustain you throughout, well, however long this struggle lasts.
“If we have to wait for all the conditions to be perfect in order to be happy, we’re going to be waiting a long time, perhaps as long as we live,” says Lisa S. Larsen, PsyD, a California-based licensed psychologist told Delish.
To that end, Larsen recommends trying to become an “optimizing realist,” which is someone who “acknowledges the reality of a situation but believes that the best outcome is possible,” she said. “If you can look for the upside of a tough situation and not demand that all the circumstances are favorable, you have a better chance of experiencing less stress and worry during these difficult stretches of time.”
Similarly, finding purpose in what you do, day to day, can help you find strength. That doesn’t mean you have to apply an “everything happens for a reason” approach to COVID-19; more like, “what’s my purpose for today? How can I get more out of this day that I’m alive?” Maybe that’s having a call with an old friend, spending quality time with your kids or cooking a really great dinner with whatever’s in your pantry—whatever fills you up. It’s like that Victor Frankl quote: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” It’s an insight he shares in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, about his years in Auschwitz during the Holocaust.
Don’t stress over finding the big “why” for your existence; what makes your day feel meaningful right now? No matter how small or silly it seems, it’s worth weaving into your days. That flourish of happiness can go a long way.
Photo by Lidya Nada on Unsplash