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At any given point in my day, there’s a nonstop to-do list running through my mind, almost like the headlines ticker at the bottom of a news broadcast: Return library book. Buy more peanut butter. Check if we need flour, too. Are the eggs about to expire? Come up with a dinner idea to use them up. Call Mom. Reply to that email my boss sent…
It never ends, and it seems to become even more blaring when I’m sitting in a presentation or listening to a speech. (Meditation experts everywhere are shaking their heads right now as my lack of mindfulness, which I promise, I’m working on!) Sometimes, though, a simple phrase rattles you out of your own head, hurling that to-do list far, far away. At least for the moment.
Recently, it happened when Mark Nepo uttered the words:
Taken too literally, that phrase could be dangerous — nobody wants to be Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar — but it made me think of how often I hold things back. How I can try to be polite or agreeable or nice, and suddenly, I’m not revealing my true feelings.
Or I don’t want to be gushy or overly sentimental, so I don’t tell that person how much he or she really means to me, thinking that there’s always another chance to share that story or anecdote.
That last part rang especially true when my aunt was battling cancer. We all had great stories of living with her, but I found myself holding back from sharing them, because it felt like a death knell. You didn’t need to tell her about how you finally had the courage to go away to college because of the handwritten note she wrote you about being brave and tucked inside a copy of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, I told myself, because doing so basically means you think she’s not going to make it. She doesn’t need trips down memory lane right now! She needs your strength.
Nope. Wrong. She needs my love, in whatever form I choose to express it. As mushy as it sounds, that’s what we all need, isn’t it? To know that we matter? Why hold that back for even a second?
When my mom went to see her sister one of the last times, I didn’t know what to say to comfort her, but I knew the one phrase I had to tell her: “Leave nothing on your heart unsaid.”
The brave face is the one that expresses itself openly. That loves and isn’t afraid to share it.
Thank you, Mark Nepo, for reminding me of that.
This post is part of Life Between Weekends’ Tuesday Takeaway series. Every Tuesday, we’ll share the most compelling insight we’ve gleaned from a book, movie, tour, documentary or article to inspire you during the workday.
Top photo (girl with sparkler): Morgan Sessions/Unsplash