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Have you ever wanted to tackle a major project, only to find yourself suddenly checking your favorite blogs, responding to half a dozen emails, even taking an old toothbrush to the dingy grout on your bathroom tile, because those things suddenly seem so urgent?
You’re not alone.
I’ve felt that way countless times, and often, after losing an hour or two mindlessly searching the web or being productive about things that really don’t matter right this second, I wonder why I’m being my own worst enemy. I’ve written it off as a lack of discipline, which is largely true, but a passage in Emily Freeman’s A Million Little Ways helped me get to the root of my foot dragging: I’m afraid to face my daily allotment of failure.
It sounds out there, I know, but it’s so true — every day, doing what we truly want to do requires us to risk falling short. To fall flat on our faces. To fail, and fail hard. That’s when comfort beats ambition; we don’t want to push ourselves because we don’t want to feel less-than. We’d rather be comfortable and complacent.
Also, in that moment, it’s common to romanticize other ambitions and hate what we’re doing right now, Freeman writes. When we’re feeling short on ideas or close to failing, suddenly any other job sounds more appealing, easier, safer. (Hence, also, why it’s so tempting to search for a new job, when the demands of your current one feel overwhelming. There are definitely times when you need to change things up, but that knee-jerk reaction to run away? That’s fear of failure brewing inside you, according to Freeman.)
Sometimes, just reminding myself that I’m just facing “my daily allotment of failure” helps me keep from feeling overwhelmed or crushed by disappointment when I fall short of where I want to be. I screw up daily, but when I think of the mistakes as part of my work process, I can feel the tension release from my shoulders. I’m going to screw up. It’s necessary to screw up. If this project came together too easily, it wouldn’t be changing me (or anyone else, for that matter). There’s a certain relief in knowing that some days, you’ll hate your calling. And that’s okay.
You can find A Million Little Ways in most major bookstores and on Amazon.
This post is part of Life Between Weekends’ Tuesday Takeaway series. Every Tuesday, we’ll share the most compelling insight we’ve gleaned from a book, movie, tour, documentary or article to inspire you during the workday.
Photo: Barby Dalbosco/Unsplash
