How to Take Back the Weekend When Every Day Feels the Same

Three months ago, most people’s water cooler talk on Fridays involved the same question: “What are you up to this weekend?” The question itself hasn’t changed, but now, Zoom, Slack and Google Hangouts have replaced the office water cooler (though, for the record, when was the last time you and your coworkers actually gathered around a water cooler?). But now, it seems everyone has the same reply: “What even is a weekend anymore?”

Whether you’re working from home, looking for a job or are an essential worker clocking in, the whole shelter-in-place lifestyle can make the days blur together. You may not have big plans, but after interviewing a therapist for a story on PureWow about the Sunday Scaries—which she’s finding are increasingly becoming the Everyday Scaries, as a tremor of anxiety over the unknown courses through each day—Saturday and Sunday (or whenever you choose to budget in downtime) is more important than ever.

At its core, that seems to be the problem: We’re associating going out and socializing with having a true break, and without that release, many of us are busying ourselves with work. Or an endless need to be productive—or at least feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with taking up training for a marathon, knitting, baking, or organizing your pantry, as long as those things genuinely rejuvenate you and aren’t being done out of a sense of obligation (“everyone else is sewing face masks and learning a new language and getting fit, so I need to be too!”).

In fact, there’s power in those little tasks—as the therapist told me, they force you to be focused, in the present moment, acting almost as mindfulness meditation, so your brain can’t wander to everything that’s stressing you out. They’re a release, a creative outlet, an escape from the ordinary. Scheduling these activities during the times when you’re most likely to feel anxious can both give you something to look forward to (an answer to that “What are you up to?” question at last!) and help you unwind, especially if you’re having trouble unplugging from work.

The act of doing something for the sheer thrill of it is worthwhile, but at the end of the day, there’s no scoreboard. Nobody wins for accomplishing the most. If relaxing looks like rewatching season one of Silicon Valley because it transports you to your nerdy happy place, go for it. A few weeks ago, for me, that looked like decorating cupcakes like TV show characters after my daughter fell asleep. More recently, it’s been creating a Saturday morning ritual of ordering takeout brunch from a different local coffee shop. Less creative, every bit as rewarding—especially when my brain’s fried at the end of a long week.

I don’t have it all figured out. Some days can feel brutally long, as Nate and I trade off caring for our daughter while working and I feel like I’m not doing great at either role. But I’m finding the smallest joys (like, yes, my weird cupcake-decorating obsession, or the coffee shop drives) can make a huge difference in my overall mindset.